How to Redefine Your Life

I know a thing or two about having to redefine a life. I’ve done it a lot.

By the age of 29 I had been a hairstylist and educator for a decade. Part of me knew I didn’t want to be in the hair industry forever, but I never thought I’d have to give it up because my hips were giving out. Or because every time I stood up, or stood for too long I’d start to black out. Truthfully there was a part of me that always knew I didn’t want to be behind the chair forever, but I had no idea what that meant. I was trained to kick ass in the beauty industry. I was a boss behind the chair. What else could I possibly do?

But then I thought, well… if I have to give up this career, I’m going to do something really fucking cool instead… like sign up for a coach training program and travel the world full-time while I worked hard to establish a new business.

Sounds kind of badass, doesn’t it?

But, between my failing hips and declining mental health, it wasn’t really working out the way I’d planned. I was meeting new people all over the world, and living in stunningly beautiful places, and doing cool shit… and I was low key miserable.

I was undiagnosed ADHD. I was undiagnosed Major Depressive Disorder. I had hips that were failing me daily with no answer as to why, and an underlying genetic disorder that unbeknownst to me, was going to keep wreaking havoc on my body. I needed to go home.

So… traveling full-time was a bust. I couldn’t run anymore. I couldn’t do most of the physical activities I loved anymore. Everything hurt. Everything made it worse. I was drowning. But worse than that, I was losing sight of what made me… me.

I thought everything would return to normal after I had my hips replaced, but that didn’t happen either. My body continued to decline no matter how hard I fought, and my mental health was worse than ever before. How the fuck was I going to get through all of this? How would I ever be able to embrace this new reality that seemed so desolate and unfair?

Building my business saved me.

Finding new hobbies and ways to express myself saved me.

Deciding I wasn’t going to give up no matter what, absolutely saved me.

I have had to fight and claw my way to where I am now.

Some how I’ve managed to keep my head above water financially, albeit barely at times. My business has seen many iterations before I finally figured out that being a virtual assistant was right up my alley. I’ve had to find new hobbies and interests, new ways to stay active that don’t send my body spiraling. I’ve had to find medications that keep me functioning both physically and mentally.

I’ve had to redefine what it means to be me.

There is no secret sauce to redefining your life, other than tenacity. It’s going to be difficult. You’re going to second guess yourself. You’re going to grieve who you once were and the life you thought you’d have. But if you keep moving forward, keep fighting for it, the life you’re building is going to be so much more beautiful than the one you were forced to leave behind.

So, keep moving forward. Don’t quit. Let yourself have bad days but don’t let the bad days define you. What lies ahead is so much better than what you left behind, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Believe it. Own it. Embody it.

You’ve got this.